Dealing with the holidays alone

The holidays are always a time when we reflect on the year that was and come together to spend time with those we love and care about.

It’s a time full of emotions, particularly when we are feeling the absence of a loved one as we can’t help but think back to where we were the year before and the plans that we had made that have since changed.

It’s important to try not to focus on the past too much and use the time to think about the new path ahead, completing the cycle and releasing any energetic strands that are still holding onto you. It’s only once we have fully disentangled and released these strands that we are able to come fully back into our own power.

Be kind to yourself. It’s ok to feel.

There is a wonderful new year lying ahead of you, full of opportunity, ready for the person far more powerful with the knowledge of all of the lessons you have learned.

Moving forward

We all get stuck in the past some times.

Certain times in life are harder than others due to a range of different reasons.

We might be feeling more stuck at work. There might be more financial pressure. Or we are having more difficulty in relationships.

There are always plenty of different reasons that arise in life that contribute to how we are feeling.

Emotion is energy in motion. If we have an energy blockage, or are trapped in a certain part of our life then sometimes that emotion can pool up inside us and we struggle to release it.

It can sit there for much longer than it needs to and that’s when it starts to create problems.

Often the answer is simply time. Time and the acceptance that things are the way they are right now but they won’t always be that way. Acceptance that things will change and they will get better.

You just need to work on the areas where you are feeling stuck, Start turning that ship around. Sometimes it’s really hard. Especially if you’ve been sailing that ship in the wrong direction for a long time. But the great news here is that once you make that effort to turn it around and you start heading in the right direction things will start getting better pretty quickly.

Life’s journey is like a cargo ship. Each piece of cargo is an excuse. A trapped emotion. A failure. The weight of the cargo ship getting heavier and heavier as we travel along. We will always be taking on more cargo regardless of what direction we are headed. That is just the cargo of life.

But the further off course we are and the more cargo we’ve taken on over time, the more effort is required to turn that ship around.

Just something to think about.

Image result for turning oil tanker

Commitment to minimalism

I’ve been a fan of the minimalist genre for some time.

The problem for me is that I haven’t been able to really stick to it.

I’m more of the hoarder mentality type. Where I carry around absolute crap because I have some guilt around throwing it out or something. It overwhelms the fuck out of me.

Anyway.

Keep putting it out there.

I’m renewing a commitment to minimalism.

 

O

 

The seed in the darkness

We all know that life doesn’t always go as planned.

There are curveballs thrown at you. There are periods where we are up and periods where we are down.

Learning how to navigate these ebbs and flows is all part of the process and something we have to deal with until our last breath.

Along the journey, it’s important to remind ourselves that it is in these challenges that we grow the most. It is in the darkness that we are forced to look at our flaws and weaknesses in a process of self examination sprung out of sheer necessity.

A seed before germination spends the start of it’s life in darkness. Deep in the soil, buried, it is unassuming in it’s potential. But it is only from this darkness, from deep under the earth, that it can begin it’s journey and start it’s evolution into a beautiful tree.

Pushing the boat out

I’ve been going through a spiritual awakening the last 6 months that has led me to create this blog as an outlet for some of the things that happen to me along my journey.

So far there have been a lot of changes and I am awakened to how far out of alignment my life has become.

The challenge for me at the moment is not to see this as wasted time but a new opportunity. Learning to leave the past as the past and open my heart and mind to the here and now, walking this new direction.

There are a lot of things pulling me back into my old life. A lot of fears, a lot of temptations, a lot of opportunities that are presenting themselves that are trying to keep me trapped in that old way of living. Which is where lies the challenge. Recognising and resisting those things popping up and saying no to them. Saying no to certainty and embracing a new direction. Embracing complete uncertainty even when you have doubts. When what you are about to do is only a vague plan littered with a series of questions.

It’s a scary thought. An intoxicating thought. And one that comes with a lot of risk. But why would I not take it?

After everything i’ve learnt I know that to continue along a path of certainty is to stagnate. If we are not growing we are dying.What is the point of a life lived out of alignment?

So then with that truth, I reaffirm my commitment. I reaffirm the plan to leave the status quo and forge off into a new direction. Forge ahead into a life lived in alignment with your values. A plan to embrace uncertainty and let everything unfold in it’s new direction. As it should.

If I gave you a million dollars

We can read books. Listen to podcasts. Take courses. But there comes a point in time where all the messages blur into one big grey mix of the same thing.

Find your purpose. Live in alignment. Live according to your values. Bla bla bla.

The messages come in and bounce off. Some of them stick. But very few turn into consistent action over time.

So why is that?

Fear? Fear of failure? Fear of making the wrong move? Fear of disappointing people? Fear of not keeping up with others?

Fear paralyses us into inaction and keeps us locked in the status quo.

Which leads me to the question, if I gave you a million dollars, would you still be doing what you’re doing?

Most people would say no. The very few, the lucky ones, would say hell yes, absolutely.

That’s the point then isn’t it? You would want to be in that place where if you did stumble across a fortune you say thanks a lot! This will really help me along my journey but I don’t need to change what i’m currently doing and start again. I am already on my path.

It’s probably why you find people in poorer rural communities often happier than those living in the western rat race. They aren’t competing with anyone else. They understand where they are and they know and appreciate the moments that make up life. Sure, they would love some more money to make things more comfortable for themselves and their family, but most of them know that if they had it, it wouldn’t really change how they feel about themselves or what they are doing in their life.

It reminds me of the Paulo Coelho story, the fisherman and the businessman. Or even the statistical correlation between money and happiness that lands it around $75,000 a year and beyond that the two no longer correlate.

Image result for happiness correlation with income

 

I think the learning would be to stop competing. Move out of operating and making decisions based from your ego self (impossible for 90% of people) and think about what does a meaningful life look like to you? Ask yourself, ‘Will I be happy if I’m still where I am today in 1-5-20 years?’

Don’t get distracted by the matrix world we live in. You don’t have to be a cog in the machine because if you are stuck in the rat race, regardless of winning or losing, in the end you’re still a rat.

 

References:

http://paulocoelhoblog.com/2015/09/04/the-fisherman-and-the-businessman/

http://www.caixabankresearch.com/en/money-does-not-bring-happiness-does-it-help

 

Values

What are your values?

‘Values are basic and fundamental beliefs that guide or motivate attitudes or actions. ‘

Scott Jeffreys has an amazing list of over 200 different values.

If you can try and find between 5 and 7 and live your life according to at least a few of them most of the time, then the theory is you should be generally pretty happy.

There are a few different lists of them to help get some ideas, so i’d suggest you have a search around and have a  look for the ones that resonate most with you.

Don’t over think it, because values are not meant to be set in stone forever.

All values will change over time, but you will find that there are some that you just keep coming back to because they are in your essence and ultimately you!

Good luck in finding yours

 

Mine are below:

  • Adventure
  • Authenticity
  • Creativity
  • Love
  • Contribution
  • Leadership
  • Wisdom

 

Reference:

https://www.ethicssage.com/2018/08/what-are-values.html

Core Values List: Over 200 Personal Values to Discover What’s Most Important to You

 

 

Dharma

I’ve journaled most of my adult life and spent years following Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages practice, writing 3 A4 pages of stream of consciousness babble first thing on waking.

Does it help or does it just ask more questions than it answers?

Often the answers are pretty obvious. But it’s the steps that we need to take to get there that are difficult.

You can spend days, months, years obsessing over the perfect plan. My obsession was timetables. Endless timetables and schedules, spreadsheet after spreadsheet of the perfectly optimised routine.What is it this week? Let’s align wake up times to circadian rhythms. What chronotype am I?

I now have a whittled down sense of values and if I just live my life according to them then everything will work out alright. Right?

I just had the job that paid really well. The most I have ever earned. Yet the whole time I was dreadfully unhappy. Something still wasn’t right. Like hang on, I should be doing really well here. I have a beautiful apartment. A high paying job. Isn’t that what we come to know as success in this world? Maybe. But it wasn’t my definition of success.

The hardest questions we have to answer sometimes are when we appear ok on the surface but deep down we are struggling with answers to some hard questions, like what would my 10 year old self say about me now?

So it is with all of those questions we ask. All of those life experiences. The ups and the downs. That I have found myself here. Sometimes the hardest part is when we find ourselves back at the start, with nothing to show for it apart from wisdom and scars.

I’m not completely sure what i’m going to do with my life and that’s ok.

All I know now is my values, my experiences, strengths and abilities and to follow my intuition. I will let the universe do it’s thing and unfold as it should.

If I can’t live my truth now, then I haven’t learnt from all of these experiences.

I know there was a purpose. That purpose was universal.